Psalms 5:11 "But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult you."

In the two verses before this one I find David asking God for justice on his enemies. Asking him to "make them bear their guilt" because their transgressions are many, they have lying mouths and destructive hearts. They have rebelled against God and deserve no good.

Without fully comprehending these verses, a part of me cringes. The justice of God is a sobering realization. Condemnation will whisper, telling me to look at all myself and my multitude of sins. Sins that deserve nothing less than what these evil men deserve. Yes, their judgement is fair.

But. The chapter does not continue to tell me that, those who are good enough, those who have no transgressions, these are the ones blessed of the Lord. No it says, "But let all who take refuge in you rejoice." All who take refuge. It's like this cover of protection, for surely I deserve the wrath of God. I dont deserve redemption, peace with God. I dont deserve him. But Jesus covered me with himself, a place of refuge. As I look out the window of this refuge, the judgement for my sins still rains down around, but it cannot touch me because Christ is covering me, and he is bearing it. There is my sin and all I deserve. But there is this beautiful refuge of grace.

Justice is a sobering thought without seeing his great love. Verse 7 comforts me also. "But I, through the abundance of your love, will enter your house..." Again right before this verse, a picture of all who cannot stand before God, the wicked, boastful, evil doers, liars, bloodthirsty,  deceitful. How will I ever stand before God? "But...through the abundance of your love." Nothing of me, like, through the abundance of my goodness. No, only through his love.

I try, oh I love to try to conjur up something of myself to fix myself, to make myself more worthy. But I hopelessly despair. The reality is that, the only rest that there is lies in that shelter, that refuge of grace which is Him. This refuge of grace doesn't require any goodness, of which I am so painfully lacking, to enter. It only bids that i come and in it find shelter.