Tuesday, March 29, 2016

1 Peter 5:6 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you."

One thing that stands out to me in this verse is the hand of God. The presence of His mighty hand is at work. His hand is creating, shaping, changing, ordering, preparing, directing. His fingerprints may be invisible but the results of his work are obvious. The hand of God is relentlessly at work.

The hand of God is working on each of us now. It is not our job to be the hand of God. We must have faith that his hand is at work even though it is invisible and we must take our position in humility underneath of his hand being moldable to all of His work.

I find in this verse the call to submit, to stop fighting. For me to humble myself under the hand of God means to accept that his hand is at work, that He for sure knows what He is doing. And because of that I need to step down, hand over the process to him, and rest. Striving and performance and unrest often result from feelings of abandonment. For me to humble myself under the hand of God means gratefulness. It means acknowledging that that God has put me in places and seasons and circumstances on purpose and I need to submit to each one in thankfulness.

For me to humble myself under the hand of God means that i need to be okay with where I am at spiritually. This doesnt imply settling for less or becoming stagnant, but it means not allowing shame from incapabilities that i see in myself drive me to perfectionistic standards and stunt my growth. He tenderly asks me simply to keep "casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." It is his work to do, not mine, he only asks that I am moldable to his hand.

He does it all in his timing, for "He has made everything beautiful in its time..." (Ecclesiastes 3:11).  "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

There is abundant grace for those who humble themselves before God, who are willing to admit nothingness and put aside fighting his work. "...Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'" (1 Peter 5:5)

My application is to make a list of some things I feel shame or condemnation in and also a list of some places, circumstances, and seasons that I need to submit to in gratefulness and bring them before God in prayer.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

2 Kings 6:15-17 "When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city. And the servant said, 'Alas, my master! What shall we do?' He said, 'Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them,' Then Elisha prayed and said, 'O LORD, please open his eyes that he may see.' So the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."

The Syrian army was looking for this man of God who had been hindering their attempts to harm the nation of Israel. When they found out what city Elisha was living in, a great army and horses and chariots were sent to seize him by night. Suddenly, Elisha and his servant found themselves surrounded on all sides by enemies.

The servant looked out and saw horses and chariots and a great army. He saw overpowerment, he saw capture, he saw no escape and no hope. The servant dispaired. "Alas my master! What shall we do?" He cried out to Elisha. His perception filled his heart with fear. What would he have done but hide or run away?

But Elisha looked out and saw a differant picture. I'm sure he noticed the Syrian army and their horses and chariots. He realized that he was surrounded and powerless. But what the gaze of his heart was fixed on was not the Syrian army but the mountain full of horses and chariots of fire, from God, ready to fight for and protect him. And because of what he saw, he remained steadfast for he knew that the Syrian army was great but "those who are with us are more than those who are with them."

The same is with us, for our reactions are based on our perception. How we see things determines our attitude. For sure we are powerless against the attacks of the enemy. I can chose to focus on this hopeless fact and let his tactics overwhelm me. Or I can set my eyes unwaveringly on the chariots of fire that are ready to do battle for me. Problems are overwhelming until we open our eyes and fix them on the Savior who is looking on us with mercy and loving kindness.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2)

"The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them." (Psalm 34:7)

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:31-32)

To practically apply this verse, tomorrow at the beginning of my day I will make a journal entry of praise to Jesus, helping to focus my eyes on him.

Monday, March 14, 2016

Matthew 16:13-16 "Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Phillipi, he asked his disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?' And they said, 'Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.' He said to them, 'But who do you say that I am?' Simon Peter replied, 'You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

Maybe Elijah. May be John the Baptist. Maybe Jeremiah or another prophet. It seemed like most people were willing to give Jesus a little credit, he must be somebody great. But their credit wasn't enough, it wasn't good enough. Jesus was so much more than the prophets like Jeremiah, Elijah, and John the Baptist. No, he was the very object those prophets were foretelling, he was the purpose of many of their prophecies. He was the Christ, the Son of the living God. And while calling him as one of the prophets may have been a high title, it wasn't enough.

"But who do you say that I am?" He probes us with the same question today. Because there are many people who are willing to give us their opinion of God. Not only that, but there are subtle voices that speak to our minds to try to tell us who God is. Most of them are lies, they diminish the character of God and make him out to be a lot less than he says he is. Those lies tempt with discouragement and try to drag us down into doubt.

But what do i say? I say that Jesus is the Messiah, the God full of grace and love. I say that he is compassionate and full of mercy, I say that he is near. I say that he is the healer and deliverer.

I have been challenged by a missionary lady here who told me, "What you beleive about God will affect EVERY area of you life. The truth will set you free." I see how worship is warfare. Because disbelief in the character of God is a constant threat to our minds. Worship battles those lies by speaking the truth and setting out minds to faith in Christ, the Son of the living God. Engaging in worship gets our minds out of the gutter of disbelief as truth is spoken and hearts reminded of our God.

During church last night, the speaker said, "You cannot defeat a thought with another thought. You have to speak the truth aloud."

Many people can tell me about God. Many voices try to get my attention. I am tempted to let their lies drag me down. But I must engage in this warfare by redirecting my mind to, even speaking out, truth.
Exodus 14:14-15 "'The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.' The LORD said to Moses, "Why do you cry to me? Tell the people of Israel to go forward. Life up your staff, and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it, that the people of Israel may go through the sea on dry ground.'"

The Israelites had just experienced amazing deliverance from the land of Egypt where they had been slaves for years. They had seen the Lord do miracles on their behalf until finally, Pharaoh was humbled before the Lord and agreed to let them go. But it wasn't long before Pharaoh regretted his decision and pursued the Israelites travelling in the wilderness, with swift chariots and a mighty army. As they saw their captors approaching, the Israelites found themselves trapped, with the Egyptians closing in on one side and the Red Sea on the other.

In desperation they complained to Moses. "Is it because their are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness?... it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness."

"The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." "Tell the people of Isreal to go forward." God did provide a way of deliverance when it looked as if there would be none. A path through the sea. But it took faith to walk in it. It took faith to trust God in holding up the walls of water until they passed. It took faith to move forward when an army was at their heels.

I have been contemplating what it looks like to move forward in faith. I think that it is acting and living in beleif that God is already working on my behalf. The Isrealites couldve kept their gaze behind them with longing and regret for the old land of Egypt. They could've turned around and tried to fight their enemies, although surely they would've been overpowered.The Israelites could've doubted that deliverance would ever come, they could've sat down in the dust in despair, accepting recapture or death. But instead they moved forward. Maybe their hearts were trembling, but their feet were moving forward in the God-sent path of deliverance.

As the Lord revels to my heart areas that his light and love have yet to cleanse, I often find myself in that place between the sea and the army, wondering where the deliverance lies. And the path of deliverance is often so obscure, it never looks like I imagined and often has walls of water on either side with an army behind. Its so hard to rest in confidence when my first reactions are to look back at Egypt, fight the army on my own, or sit down in the dust and despair.

But he is calling me to be still and move forward in faith. Just taking the next step forward that i see and trust that he is working on my behalf.

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Exodus 3:7-8 "Then the LORD said, " I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, and land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of thr Cannanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites."

He sees. He hears. He knows. Why do I allow myself to think that I struggle, alone. So many times the unrest of my soul results from failing to recognize that God does indeed see what is happening.  He hears every cry of my heart. And he sympathizes with my weaknesses and struggles. But when God doesn't seem to have anything to say, doesn't seem to be acting, when the taskmasters are hard and cruel and overbearing, I often dispair by thinking that I am fighting alone.

But I am not alone. And He desires to deleiver. "...I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10). He does not desire that we remain in that land of Egypt, that land of bondage. He does not want us to remain under the cruel bondage to masters of sin. The desire of his heart, the reason for his death is to lead us out. The land he has in store is good and broad, full of richness and abundance.

What would I do differently if I truly beleived that we sees me, hears me, knows me, and desires to deliver me into an abundant land? I would rest. Even if I can really comprehend that he sees, hears, and knows me, still my heart questions, 'Does he really desire to deleiver?' That's when I get anxious and impatient. It's often when I get up from his presence and strive to do the delivering myself.

The thing about his abundant land that he desired to bring the Israelites into is that it was full of other people. It was full of the Cannanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. These nations were probably more powerful than the nation of Israel and they had already established their home in this land and weren't about to surrender it.

I am reminded again that God did deliver Israel out of their slavery in Egypt but it was many years of discontented wandering in the wilderness before they finally entered this land of abundance. The reason for this was not because the other nations that lived in the land were more powerful than Israel, even though they were. The reason for this was simply unbeleif. Because God definatly had the power to come on their behalf against their strong enemies, it was just a matter of whether or not they decided to look to him for it.

Even in Exodus 3, when God tells Moses of his great plan to deliver Israel, all Moses has to say are pitiful excuses of how all of his inadequacies and incapabilities aren't good enough for God to use.

Sometimes I too grow discouraged and weary when I don't rest in the fact that God sees, hears, knows, and desires to deleiver. I see the towering enemy that threatens to take control and I wander how that abundant and victorious land could ever be mine. But just like the Israelites, that land is mine when I choose by faith to look to God for it.

And it can be yours to. Let us put away our unbeleif and our excuses. Let us beleive that God has something much better for us than the bondage or wandering we become so accustomed to. It is by faith that we enter. Because we are powerless against the enemy, but our God is not.

"But the Good Shephard has supplies green pastures for those who care to move in onto the  and there find peace and plenty." ("A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23" W. Phillip Keller)

Sunday, February 21, 2016

John 15:4 "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me."

Good works without power. Activity with no purpose. Dried up. Becoming like the withered branch that has been cast away from the life giving sap of the vine. This is why being connected to the Vine is absolutly vital. Without it we dry up, loose power and effectiveness. We forget why we are doing what we are doing.

But sometimes when I feel dry inside I get frustrated by lack of results. I'm hard on myself. I feel guilty. "WHERE'S THE FRUIT?" I ask myself in desperation. It is then my temptation to frantically begin looking for fruit to tape and glue onto my tree because 'Christians shouldn't be acting like you are.'

But all he asks me to do is abide. I'm skipping the most necassary and vital of all the steps. Because he just wants me to abide with him. And when I stop every other thing and abide with him, the result is not some fabricated fruit that I can make myself. It is instaed beautiful fruit that is not forced and is real and is life-giving to all who partake.

He only asks that I abide. And abiding looks a lot like resting and remaining and waiting. It's allowing his Word to permeate my mind and listening to his voice speak. Its sitting in his presence and dwelling. And it is to beccome this natural input output system, He gives life and I give it away, and he gives again.

"Abide in his love..." I must open the doors and windows of my heart to his love. I must allow the eyes of my heart be opened to the awesome and beautiful character of my God who steadfastly loves. I must open my ears to hear what his gentle voice says to my heart.

This is abiding. It is allowing God to change. Not forcing the change myself.

"The man who has struggled to purify himself and has had nothing but repeated failures will experience real relief when he stops tinkering with his soul and looks away to the perfect one. While he looks at Christ the very things he has so long been trying to do will be getting done within him. It will be God working within him to will and to do." (A.W. Tozer "The Pursuit of God")

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken." (Psalms 62:8-9)

Friday, February 12, 2016

1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

Some people struggle with depression because they live in the past, but what I struggle with is anxiety because I live in the future. The future easily becomes something that i fear. And when this fear of the future creeps up, it paralyzes me from living in freedom in today.

This fear ultimately comes from not trusting God. Fear comes from worshipping a God of punishment who withholds grace, conditonally loves, and is quick to become angry. Fear is doubting that God cares enough for us to provide for our every need. Fear says that God is not enough. Fear is living in unbeleif, that God is the God of love.

It is like I am standing in an ocean, and the waters are my experience of God. I stand knee deep in them, farther then I've ever been before and I see that every step behind me was worth it. But as I look ahead to the deeper waters, and the waves that are taller than I am, I am afraid to take another step. "Are you worth it God, are you worth going deeper with?" This is the inward reserve of my heart as I hesitate to go one step farther.

But what he speaks to me in his gentle voice is that I am worth it. I am worth it to him. I am worth more than the blood of Jesus and he does not desire to leave me as I am. And as I understand more in my heart who this God of love is, the fear is being cast out. It's being evicted and forced to leave as it is replaced by the truth of who God is. And the waves become less scary and more inviting because the truth about God makes me hungry for more.

He is not the God of punishment who I have worshipped for long but he is tender and gentle and steadfast in his love. The blood of Jesus is enough and he lavishes his grace on his children.

His perfect love is what casts out fear and I desire to be perfected in that love. I want to know it, beleive it, abide in it, and rest in it. Take me deeper in your love God.

I'm standing knee deep but I'm out where I've never been.
And I feel you coming and I hear your voice on the wind.
Won't you come and tear down the boxes that i have tried to put you in,
Let love come teach me who you are again.

-Bethel "In over my head"

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Ezekiel 37:11-14, "Then he said to me, "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. Behold, they say, 'Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost; we are indeed cut off.' Therefore prophesy, and say to them, 'This says the Lord GOD: Behold, I will open your graves and raise you from your graves, O my people. And I will bring you into the land of Israel. And you shall know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves, and raise your from your graves, O my people. And I will put my Spirit within you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I am the LORD; I have spoken and I will do it, declares the LORD."

A valley of dead and dry and lifeless bones was what the Lord showed the prophet Ezekial.  "Can these bones live?" He asked Ezekial. And then he told Ezekial to prophecy over those dead, dry bones. As he did the bones came to together and skin came over them. And he prophesied again and breath entered the bones. The dead and dry bones in the valley transformed into an army of breathing, living beings.

The analogy of these lifeless bones shows the reality of our deadness without the Holy Spirit. By myself I am no more than a valley of dry and lifeless bones that desparatly cannot bring themselves to life. I definitely don't always like to admit that and try to play this life without the Holy Spirit's strength and his tender guiding hand. Other times he gently humbles me by showing me just how dead and incapable my flesh is. It is easy to dispair when I see my depravity and think, "my bones are dried up and my hope is lost."

But how beautiful it is that when we are at that broken state, when we have dispaired of our capabilities, he is ready to come and fill as we look to him instead. And the result is life. Life that we could've never produced on our own. Beautiful and abundant life. It is the life and breath that only the Spirit can produce out of our dry and dead bones.

"And you shall know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves, and raise your from your graves, O my people."

When that life comes to all that has been dead, it is so clear to see who has done the work. When i see bones without life, I must not despair that hope has been lost because the power to raise from the dead belongs to God. It is him who creates life.

I see places in my heart that were once dead. I despaired when I could not create life out of them, I even lost hope at times. But my Life-giving God has come and breathed life where I hardly imagined it was possible for deadness to rise. It is he who has done the work.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Hebrews 12:5-6 "...My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastised every son whom he receives."

Will I ever arrive? I will never be good enough. Weariness, shame and discouragement are too often my reaction when my faults are laid bare, when sin is revealed in my life. I tend to look at all of these things that are wrong, many of them  ( all of them ) far out of my control  to change, and dispair. I dispair because I can't do it. I despair because I don't want to do it. I despair because I now feel inadequate.

However, this verse reveals the beautiful character of our Father, who does not discipline us to punish me, nor to discourage me. His discipline confirms his love for me. He does it because he looks at me and says, "You are worth it to me." And he has demonstrated that I am worth it by paying the price of Christ's blood for me. The blood of forgiveness and cleansing. He takes delight in making me beautiful. "...he disciplines us for our good, that we might share his holiness." (Hebrews 12:10) That holiness that allow us to see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14), and opens our eyes to the goodness of who he really is. He does not desire to leave me where I am in the mud and the mire but to lift me up to higher places. That is his nature.

Very often the discipline brings us to that broken place before the Lord, where he longs that we be, where we dispair of ourselves and give up our pride and self righteousness, where we take our hands off, come before his throne of grace, and invite him to work.

"Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed."

Let us not become weary but instead come before the throne of the one who is good and loving and desires to break chains, heal, and restore.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Galatians 6:9 "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

It is crazy to think that right now, I am closer to the day when I am to leave this country than I am from the day I arrived. Has it been hard? Yes it has. But is it worth it? Absolutly. Yet, I'm not finished. As easy as it might be to slack off, to check out a little early, I must stay rooted in the fact that it will be worth it for those who do not give up.

Planting seeds requires persistance. The thing about planting seeds is that it is investing in the unseen and the future. It's not about the moments comfort and glory at all. It's not all about the visible and the tangible. I need this faith in the unseen, this hope for the future.

And it's easy to become weary. After constantly giving and pouring out, we need to be refreshed ourselves, we need new vision. We need a constant filling of the Spirit. "God I'm weary," I say. But his gentle reminder, "Do not become weary in doing good, for in due season you will reap, if you do not give up."

While rest is needed, it is easy for me to idolize free time. I get a little protective when it is in short supply. Sometimes I live for it. But people are what really matter, people are what count, they are what last. And God is able to provide his rest for those who are empty and tired.

"...whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully." (2 Corinthians 9:6)

"He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness." (2 Corinthians 9:10)

The harvest is promised to the diligent, to those who decide there is more to invest in than the here and now, more to invest in than the seen. There will be a harvest for those who do not give up. I do not want to give up.

"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 16:25)

Sunday, January 17, 2016

"Not for your sacrafices do I rebuke you; your burnt offerings are continually before me. I will not accept a bull from your house or goats from your folds. For every beast of the forrest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills. I know all the birds of the hills, and all that moves in the field is mine. Do I eat the flesh of bulls or drink the blood of goats? Offer to God a sacrafice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me."

The sacrafice of bulls and goats was not what God was looking for. I think alot of the things we bring before God today look alot like those sacrafices. Yes, they are continually being brought before God, but are they more than mere rituals? Outward motions with no service from the heart? Giving to God as if we could help him out?

But I see a shift in the things that God asks for instead of the sacrafices. "Offer to God a sacrafice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble..." Instead of the focus being on what I can do for God, it shifts onto what God has done for me. Bring the sacrafice of thanksgiving for what he has done and for who he is. Fulfill vows because of how he has acted on your behalf. Call out to Him in dependance for what he will do.

Why does God desire so much that a thanksgiving sacrafice be brought before him? I beleive that thanksgiving is surrender. It is a heart attitude of acceptance to the will of God. Thanksgiving is acknowledging God's Sovereinty and goodness in every circumstance and putting myself in submission under his plan. Thanksgiving gives the credit to God for his work that he has done.

Giving thanks shifts the focus off of me and onto God. It's not about what I can do, but about what he has done, is doing, and will continue to do. My life ought to be poured out as an offering of thanksgiving to God.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Genesis 29:31-30:24 "When God saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren... Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb..."

Two sisters married to one man. An imperfect man, who loved imperfectly. One sister was loved, the other hated. The other sister had many children, the one sister had none. Jealousy dominated their relationship between each other, each one envied the blessing of the other. Leah felt unloved because Rachel was loved and she wasnt. Rachel felt reproach because Leah had children and she didnt.

They acted from envy. Constantly they compared themselves with each other and despaired when they were found wanting. Leah thought that she could earn the love of her husband after she bore him several children. When Rachel saw that Leah was way ahead in bearing children and she couldnt, she settled for substitutes, she sent her handmaid to her husband to have children in her place. They kept score with each other, wouldn't allow the other grace.

Look at Leah, who as she bore sons to him, strived for and hoped that her husband would finally notice her and love her. Reuben, her first child, literally means, "see a son." Even after her sixth son was born, she still desparatly said, "Now my husband will honor me because I have born him six sons." She tried over and over again to earn his love.

Jealousy, envy, keeping score. For sure, these are not just sins of the past. I am as guilty as anyone. Trying to earn love is a desperate battle.

But as the Bride of Christ, we have been loved perfectly and with an everlasting love. I want to know the depths of that perfect love. Because the truth is, we don't have to compete for love like these sister did. We don't have to work to be loved because we already unconditionally are loved, we don't have to stoop to comparison, envy, and bitter jealousy because we are already accepted.

Why does it feel so uncomfortable to accept the love of Christ? Why are we so hesitant to put away the measuring stick?  I am convinced that when I accept God's acceptance of me, I will be ready to do the same to others.

I see God in his grace, looking at these sisters who cried out to him for children, and giving to them both. For Leah it meant acceptance and for Rachel it meant healing her reproach. And God desires to give again, to fill the void of love in us too. Not with material possesions, but with a greater knowledge of His character and sacrafice.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Psalms 37:7 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently before him..."

I wish I could say I have this mastered. I wish I could tell you that this is an easy thing to live in. But no its not. When trusting and waiting before God only includes being still, sometimes I get antsy and give up on God and try to do it by myself. But over and over in the Bible, I see that waiting for the Lord to act is the only way.

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure." (Psalms 40:1-2)

"but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31).

Many times we feel like it is up to us to give results, so we pursue and work relentlessly. We push and shove to make things happen even though it is obviously not working. We are tired. We settle for substitutes. We compare. We carry guilt that we are not doing enough. We try formulas to get what we need and do our best to do better. If only our best were good enough.
"For not in my how do I trust, nor can my sword save me. But you have saved us from our foes..." (Psalms 44:6-7)

Like I said, I really wish I had this mastered. But I too have been a victim of this "try harder, do better" methodology. I want to make it perfect. I want to pride myself in a job well done. Maybe I'm afraid to take that jump, because it means for a little, that i have to free fall and wait for God to catch me.

Waiting on God is trusting that he will fight your battles. It is resting before him because you know that he will come through on your behalf. It's not wearisome. It's not guilt inflicting. It doesn't leave us tired, discouraged, insecure people. Waiting is trusting. Like really, if I don't trust that the bus is going to come, I'm not going to stand their waiting for it.

What Psalms 37 tells us two verses later is that "those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land." Those are the ones who will go far places, soar on the heights, run hard without weariness, walk long without fainting. Those are the ones standing on a rock instead of sinking further into a miry bog. Teach me to wait on you Lord.