Mark 9:22-24 "'...But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.' And Jesus said to him, 'If you can'! All things are possible for one who beleives.' Immediately the Father of the child cried out and said, "I beleive; help my unbeleif!"

The Father of this demon possessed child had already brought his child before the disciples, they could not cast out the demon. In desperation he came before Jesus, "If you can do anything"! Here was this desperate circumstance, and the father cried out to Jesus to help him if he could, help him if it was in his power to do so!

How often am I the same as this man. My first inclination when fear arises, when I feel my weak capabilities loosing control, sadly is to try to figure it out myself. Tossing and turning the matter over in my mind, depending on my weakness for strength. Maybe even consulting those around me to help me to get control of the situation. Why do i hestitant to turn to Jesus for help? Why do I question the faithfulness of my Savior? The lack of my faith is so evident. Sure, I beleive that Jesus can but do I beleive that he will?

But I am finding more and more that in the midst of my frantic mind, when fear and dread begin to rise up in me, the freedom comes when I come to the Lord as this man did, "Lord I beleive, but will you help my unbeleif." Here, Lord, is my unbeleif. Here Lord is my heart and all of its rawness, not some patched up, masked up thing, so hidden by fakeness that it is indecipherable. I love to try to bring that before God, "Here is my heart God, I tried to fix it up a little."

He wants ALL of my heart. He just wants me to give it all to him. He doesn't ask me to work on it first before I bring it, he just wants me to bring everything, even the dirty parts. And when I show it all, when I talk about it with him instead of myself, that is faith. Here is my lack of faith God, here it is. I tried to pretend that it's not there, I tried to make it not be there but I cant. God will you take this.

It turns out that the demon plaguing the child, was one that could only be driven out by prayer. That is why all other sources were powerless. All Jesus wanted was for them to come before him and him alone with there great need.

And Jesus wants the same from me. To come before him, in rawness and honesty, believing that he will help my unbeleif.

Matthew 11:28-39 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."